So You Want to Bring Your Pet to Work

You can see it in his big, wet eyes: He wants to go on the hunt with you. Every day you leave for work, he follows you to the door as if to say “You are TERRIBLE at hunting! You never come home with game. Take me, I can help!” If only you could show him that the hunt got pretty boring over the last 10,000 years, he wouldn’t make you feel so bad about leaving him alone at home. But then again, bringing your number one fan to work might make the time pass a bit quicker…

Having your pet at the office can be a lot of fun for everyone, but it can also be rife with anxieties. It’s best to take a few steps before bringing your quadruped pal into the rat race. When it comes to bringing your pet to work, this breaks down into two categories: Dogs and non-dogs, such as cats, small rodents, birds, snakes, and so on.

The rules for everything that isn’t a dog are quite simple: Unless you are planning on keeping your pet in a cage or your pet is a professionally trained animal that responds to your every beck and call, don’t bring your pet to work.

That may sound unfair, but it’s important to remember that cats and specialty pets are semi-feral, terror-prone animals. Hamsters in a ball are awesome and lap cats can stop wars, but one misstep and you’ll be at your office past 9 p.m. trying to lure your pet out of a ceiling vent with your lunch leftovers. It’s not that you can’t bring your non-dog to work; it’s just that it’s pretty much a terrible idea. If you Google “bring your pet to work,” the first 20 returns replace “pet” for “dog.” Save yourself the stress; leave Mittens at home.

Even if your pet is a highly intelligent loyalist that literally evolved to be a friend and ally to humans, there are still quite a few precautions to take before bringing him to your place of business.

1. Get unanimous approval
This will come as a surprise to most pet owners, but not everyone loves animals. Some people have terrible allergies to dander, others have deep-seeded fears and bad memories, and some just genuinely think of pets as stinky filth bombs. Unless management has set aside a day for everyone to bring pets, email your boss to get the OK. Then get in touch with your co-workers to make sure it won’t inconvenience them. If your pet has any quirks or special needs, inform everyone so they’re all prepared to interact with your little buddy.

2. Be a good owner
This is just a formality bullet point because you’re already a good owner who keeps your pets up to date on shots. Have him wear a collar with a license tag and have a leash or harness ready. Play with your pet for a half hour before you head into the office so he’s feeling loved and a little lazy, and make sure to take him outside every few hours for relief and stimulation.

3. Train your pet
This doesn’t mean your dog has to be ready for a video shoot or obstacle course, or even that it has to be particularly smart. Your pet doesn’t have to be Westminster ready, but it has to know not to poop in the office. It also can’t be barking/hissing/squawking/whipping all about the office while people are trying to work. You want everyone to enjoy meeting your pet and for your pet to enjoy being involved in a part of your life it is normally cut out of, and part of that means having pet that can reasonably control itself.

4. Create a safe place
The key here is to make your pet feel at home instead of territorial. Bring in a favorite blanket or pillow and a baby gate the day before and set up a private spot for your pet to retreat to if the experience becomes too much. Have some treats at the ready for rewarding and leading. If you know there will be other animals there (preferably of the same species), introduce everyone in a neutral space where they can all get to know each other. You can also bring toys for them to smell and get accustomed to one another as well as trade.

5. Total responsibility
As the person who spends the most time with your pet, you know that he has a unique personality on par with any human you know. But that can often blind many pet owners to the fact that a pet is still an animal that operates on instinct and that can’t be reasoned with. Accidents happen, so you have to be on your pet immediately to step in and prevent or fix any problems. Wherever Fido goes, you go. Whenever Fluffy has an accident, you switch jobs to custodian. And if, God forbid, something terrible happens with a co-worker, you should be prepared to replace damaged property and foot medical bills.

Once you take these precautions, you’ll be ready to introduce your pet to your colleagues. And with any luck, you’ll have a new office mascot.